Posted by subtowife on June 1, 2008
I bought another book this week, Uniquely Rika by Ms. Rika. The book is about service-oriented dominance and submission. For anybody living in a wife-led-marriage this book is essential.
I was interested in the book after a mailcorrespondance I had with Ms Rika. She was kind enough to comment on an entry in my blog. After her comment I wrote to her and she gave my som good advice.
The topic of our discusison was “my need versus what I want”. I was focused on how I could make my wife fullfill my needs. She argued that the only way to make this work was for me to stop focusing on my needs and turn all my attention to serving my wife. Serving her should be what I wanted and it should be serving her that gives me satisfaction.
She argues that D/s is not about what the wife does to the husband, but what he does for her. Since then my focus has been on making my wife happy and my pleasure is to serve her. This advice is very succesful, I feel good serving her and she enjoys having it her way and only doing the chores that she chooses to do.
The book is in two parts. First section is about the D/s-relationship. Rika takes a no-nonse-approach to the this. Her insight in the dynamics of the D/s-relationship is impressive and her understanding of the male mind is almost scaring 🙂 Reading the book was very usefull to me, but I think that the real value will be for my wife to read it. She will be able to understand our relationship in a new perspective and she will find good advice on how to handle the relationship.
The second part is about “male-centric”. This is very fascinating to read (for the male at least :-). Ms Rika sees these activities as gifts the wife can choose to give her husbond when she feels that he should get somthing “male-centric”. Most of these activities are described in the same no-nonsense-style as the first part. And again Ms. Rika know was she is talking about, and wifes who may want to give their husbonds “gifts” can learn how to do it. Meanwhile, for the male, reading this section makes you dream of what maybe could be someday.
Everybody living in a wife-led-marriage should read this book.
My wife has the book now and I hope that she will read it some day in the next 1-2 months. She saw how fascinated I was by the book and she decided she would read the book during summer.
Posted in Domination, wife led marriage | Tagged: D/s, lfa, wife led marriage | 2 Comments »
Posted by subtowife on March 6, 2008
I’ve had a lot of thought about principles of domination in a marriage. Or maybe I should say the principles of domination I wish to implement in my marriage.
Im trying hard to obey my wife and respect her wishes. One day I was frustrated and didn’t apply to her wishes. In the following days I have thought about the “mechanisms” of domination I wish to implement.
The basic idea is that I should feel the need to obey because I will receive a reward if I’m a good sub.
If I obey her and make her happy I could receive a reward. Perhaps I would be allowed to cuddle with her in the evening, maybe I will even be allowed to satify her orally.
If she isn’t satified with me she should deny me something, eg. no cuddling, no chat in bed, no kissing, etc.
If she is unsatified or irritated with me, e.g. I have denied something or have been to sloppy, I should be punished. Punishment being something that I dont like. e.g. cold shower next morning, sleeping on the floor og maybe even physical punishment like spanking.
good boy = Reward
Not so good boy = Denial
Bad boy = Punishment.
A general principle should be that her needs/wishes should overrule the above. If she wants to deny me for some reason, she should do it. If she wants sex when I’m a not so good boy, she shall have it her way. She might consider punishing me afterwards for beeing a not so good boy.
Another general principle should be that she controls my orgams. She decides when I can come and only her. If I come doing sex I will not be as eager to please her as if I am denied cumming. Denial means arousel. But continous denial generates frustrations and she should understand that I need to come sometimes.
Our everyday communications should be a normal everyday dialogue. She should not command me while the kids or the neighbours are around. I, on the other hand, must understand that her wishes must be obeyed and her polite request should be understood as a direct command that must be obeyed.
Many rules. The basic is that I should strive for her reward and I should fear her punishment.
Posted in Domination | Tagged: Domination, femdom, lfa, submission, wife led marriage, wlm | 2 Comments »
Posted by subtowife on March 2, 2008
This is a linkpage intended for the domme. It contains links to articles with knowledge and discussions for the domme.
Posted in Domination, Links | Tagged: Domination, domme, lfa, submissive men, wife led marriage | Leave a Comment »