Regrets

My stupid behaviour in repsonse to me being impatient with my wife made us both misery. She is busy with reports at school and I’m behaving like an ass at home.

I realized this and asked for her forgiveness. I told her that I was frustrated and needed to talk about our relationship. She reapeated what she had already told me earlier; she would read www.aroundherfinger.com in april when she has the time for it.

She told me it would help if I made a danish translation of the site since reading in english is not something she does often. I was happy for this task and have spent my saturday evening making a danish transcript. She now has it in her mailbox and can read it when she wants.

Motivation is low

Mood is bad and motivation is low.

My wife is so enthusiastic about her “new” husband who cleans the house, does the laundry and give so great sex. She loves it and she swells in it.

But she is so pleased to show me how much she likes it that it almost makes her my sub 😦 She has forgotten her new role as the boss and/or she haven’t yet realized that my enthusiasm is driven by her dominant behaviour.

I’m getting sloppy and it has no consequence. Today I decided to provoke her. I was bad, didn’t obey her and even left the dishes on the table when I went to the sportssclub. Once she asked “what I was doing”, but she didn’t put her foot down so I ignored it. Nothing happened.

When I returned home from the club she was gone to bed. She had left the dishes on the table for me and left a little ekstra assignment for me.

I am frustrated. Need her to be dominant. Need her to punish my misbehaviour.  

Told her about the blog

Yesterday was a great day. We did alot of housework together, spent some time shopping and had lunch downtown.

When I was sitting in the couch in the evening with the laptop reading blogs she suddenly asked what I was reading. Normally she wouldn’t do that. I spend a lot of time online reading all kind of stuff, she never really asked me about it before. Now she suddenly wanted to know.

I told her I was trying to learn more about WLM and was reading blogs about men living in wife led marriages. She was curious and we had a good talk about it.

I told her about this blog. At first she was afraid that her personal data was spread on the internet, but after assuring that it was not the case, she got a little curious. Not curious enough to read the site and ask for the URL. But I guess it won’t be long before she asks for it…another judgment coming up 😕

Cleaning day

Saturday morning. I was up early and started to dust off in the living room. Wife still sleeping.

She got up and I asked her if I could vacuum now. Yes she said, and when youre done you can mop the floor, after that you might get your breakfast if I’m satisfied.

After cleaning and mopping for 3 hours I finally got my beakfast. Happy to know that my wife took control and was the judge of my efforts. She’s learning 🙂

Principles of domination

I’ve had a  lot of thought about principles of domination in a marriage. Or maybe I should say the principles of domination I wish to implement in my marriage.

Im trying hard to obey my wife and respect her wishes.  One day  I was frustrated and didn’t apply to her wishes.  In the following days I have thought about the “mechanisms” of domination I wish to implement.

The basic idea is that I should feel the need to obey because I will receive a reward if I’m a good sub.

If I obey her and make her happy I could receive a reward. Perhaps I would be allowed to cuddle with her in the evening, maybe I will even be allowed to satify her orally.

If she isn’t satified with me she should deny me something, eg. no cuddling, no chat in bed, no kissing, etc.

If she is unsatified or irritated with me, e.g. I have denied something or have been to sloppy, I should be punished. Punishment being something that I dont like. e.g. cold shower next morning, sleeping on the floor og maybe even physical punishment like spanking.

good boy = Reward
Not so good boy = Denial
Bad boy = Punishment.

A general principle should be that her needs/wishes should overrule the above. If she wants to deny me for some reason, she should do it. If she wants sex when I’m a not so good boy, she shall have it her way. She might consider punishing me afterwards for beeing a not so good boy.

Another general principle should be that she controls my orgams. She decides when I can come and only her. If I come doing sex I will not be as eager to please her as if I am denied cumming. Denial means arousel. But continous denial generates frustrations and she should understand that I need to come sometimes.

Our everyday communications should be a normal everyday dialogue. She should not command me while the kids or the neighbours are around. I, on the other hand, must understand that her wishes must be obeyed and her polite request should be understood as a direct command that must be obeyed.

Many rules. The basic is that I should strive for her reward and I should fear her punishment. 

Not to masturbate

After a couple of days more with my frustration over the masturbationproblem I took the issue up with my wife.

She understood my need for her accept and she allowed me to masturbate once this week.

Links for the Domme

This is a linkpage intended for the domme. It contains links to articles with knowledge and discussions for the domme.

• Around her finger – introduction to wife lead marriages. A must-read for the wife who has been approached by a submissive husband.
• Around her finger – Questions and answers.
• Kathys blog about living in a WLM (wife lead marriage).
• Disciplining the male submissive – an article by Lady Julia discussing how to discipline.
• Mrs Claudia about tease & denial.
• GoddessV and Veezknight about rules, expectations and real-life solutions in a wife led maariage.
• O/our Journey in D/s – Mistress Kikas blog.
• Uniquely Rika – Rika’s views on the D/s lifestyle

To masturbate or not to masturbate

Im often masturbate every day.  But since I announced my submission to my wife I have only masturbated a couple of times.

Submitting to her should mean that she  decides when I can have orgasm. Masturbating feels like “cheeting”.

But then again she haven’ t told me that I couldn’t masturbate….. But maybe she will later. I wish she would.

In doubt….

Must learn patience

Still waiting for my wife to read www.aroundherfinger.com. Its been a week now and she haven’t mentioned it yet. In my letter to her I made it clear that it was important to me that she would spend some time reading it. I also made it clear that I would respect the fact that it would be her decision when and where we should talk about it.

But the waiting is soooo looong 😦 I feel like a little boy waiting for christmas eve, I just cant wait.

Unable to understand why she hadn’t read it yet I asked her yesterday if she was happy with our new arangement. yes, she is! But she also said that she hadn’t had the time to read the site yet. She is very busy at school at the moment and she told me that she expected she would get time for reading in april.

April is two months away! Very very long time to wait.

This must be my first lesson, I have to learn to be patient waiting for her to pay attention to my needs. 

Waiting for her judgement

A week ago I told my wife about my submission to her. It went well, she said ok, I survived.

She is very  dominating in the household, she likes to have it her way and can get very angry when its not. After my subsmission I totally fell in love with her again and she had all my attention, I think she liked that. 

Next morning she told me to take a cold shower. Im not sure if she was joking, but I was totally aroused by her command and took af fascinating cold shower. Vauw! The next couple of days I obeyed anything she said immidiately and was happy about it. I spent all my time at home pleasing her, talking, doing housework, etc. She seemed to be happy about it. I announced my love for her any chance I had. 

On day 4 she asked me where I had the idea and I told her I read about it on the internet. In the evening I sent her a letter telling her I love her very much and asking her to please read the letters at www.aroundherfinger.com.

She didn’t have the time to read then and now 3 days have gone and I anxiously waiting for her to read it. She haven’t mentioned it at all ……. 

Will she read it? Will she accept? I’m waiting for her judgement.